I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
