if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
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so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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