His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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