There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
