No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
MIDGETS
????
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
