Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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