remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
