i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
