this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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