so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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