Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
