My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
