Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
