god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
