bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize