the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize