I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
