i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
