I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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