So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
