I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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