is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
