his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
