Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
