i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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