So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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