at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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