shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Everclear isn't food dammit
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize