i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
