you win again, gameday.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
