This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
