so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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