if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
