I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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