As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
how does that bad decision feel?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
