So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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