My room smells like vodka and shame
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
