i just sent this text using only my big toe
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize