If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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