i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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