a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
porn star boner night. come get it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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