I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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