i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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