i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
