New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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