White coat. Heels.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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