Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
