The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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