Texts From Last Night

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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?

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  (320): If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say? http://tfl.nu/bcus
  Replies (32) Good night (1785) Bad night (742)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.

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  (503): I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt. http://tfl.nu/ymql
  Replies (17) Good night (4845) Bad night (823)
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  (408): View more from California

  Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?

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  (408): Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge? http://tfl.nu/3h8y
  Replies (67) Good night (2362) Bad night (6301)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.

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  (585): Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary. http://tfl.nu/sahm
  Replies (8) Good night (1979) Bad night (1058)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me

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  (732): I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me http://tfl.nu/pe15
  Replies (7) Good night (969) Bad night (2047)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?

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  (414): It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself? http://tfl.nu/nwby
  Replies (6) Good night (730) Bad night (1620)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily

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  (770): I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily http://tfl.nu/jbfr
  Replies (7) Good night (2201) Bad night (688)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

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  (828): Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado http://tfl.nu/of4e
  Replies (27) Good night (3660) Bad night (858)
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  (518): View more from New York

  You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with

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  (518): You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with http://tfl.nu/vbdb
  Replies (5) Good night (2141) Bad night (536)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.

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  (828): She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle. http://tfl.nu/0ke0
  Replies (3) Good night (389) Bad night (927)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

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  (407): Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet? http://tfl.nu/oobh
  Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (350)
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  (661): View more from California

  Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.

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  (661): Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back. http://tfl.nu/53qo
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (324)
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  (718): View more from New York

  i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.

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  (718): i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety. http://tfl.nu/wdsb
  Replies (1) Good night (398) Bad night (323)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.

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  (612): I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed. http://tfl.nu/fusc
  Replies (3) Good night (456) Bad night (305)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.

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  (740): I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable. http://tfl.nu/5qhj
  Replies (4) Good night (306) Bad night (174)

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