I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
