Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?

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  (650): Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards? http://tfl.nu/fenr
  Replies (9) Good night (1968) Bad night (634)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video

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  (914): Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video http://tfl.nu/m72m
  Replies (43) Good night (11393) Bad night (964)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF

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  (520): just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF http://tfl.nu/k653
  Replies (19) Good night (863) Bad night (3966)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."

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  (870): He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed." http://tfl.nu/z9xx
  Replies (11) Good night (7098) Bad night (1587)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.

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  (303): Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize. http://tfl.nu/r92i
  Replies (20) Good night (3124) Bad night (869)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.

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  (330): Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay. http://tfl.nu/7dwn
  Replies (4) Good night (1774) Bad night (882)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina

  (386): View more from Florida

  It really is the softest mustache

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  (386): It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina (386): It really is the softest mustache http://tfl.nu/mbrj
  Replies (9) Good night (2428) Bad night (787)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.

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  (804): by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious. http://tfl.nu/gquc
  Replies (2) Good night (2689) Bad night (645)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well

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  (641): Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well http://tfl.nu/dscc
  Replies (6) Good night (899) Bad night (724)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.

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  (469): HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK. http://tfl.nu/uhfo
  Replies (5) Good night (1486) Bad night (603)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.

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  (904): But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast. http://tfl.nu/ubtv
  Replies (7) Good night (1540) Bad night (586)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.

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  (316): You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel. http://tfl.nu/ugfj
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (746)
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  (818): View more from California

  I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.

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  (818): I think my AA sponsor just booty called me. http://tfl.nu/z94l
  Replies (3) Good night (640) Bad night (415)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.

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  (801): My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use. http://tfl.nu/q2pv
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (277)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies

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  (580): You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies http://tfl.nu/zkwv
  Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (325)

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