the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know