hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish