i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
