PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
