I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
my poor anus
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
