I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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