called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
