dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
