rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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