My hand turned me down
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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