I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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