everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
