why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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