when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
