ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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