i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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