Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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