Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
