Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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