Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
