Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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