Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
