i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize