I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
