I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
